Comparing yourself to others is such an easy task to do these days. We are bombarded with images via social media, movies and magazines that allow constant opportunities to compare ourselves to others. We start comparing our accomplishments, looks, popularity, social status, grades, and many other things. It is such a draining process, and can even be linked to depression symptoms.
Well, it’s time to stop comparing yourself to others. This will be an ongoing task that you must do, but will ultimately help you to reach a new state of self-confidence within yourself. So, how do we actually break the cycle of comparing ourselves to others? Well, simply put, it is really a conscious decision we must make. To do this, we have to first realize the connection between our self-esteem to when we compare ourselves to others.
Comparing your body to others
Let’s first look at the connection between comparing yourself to others and body image issues. Here’s a scenario from my life. I’m sure some of you can identify with it:
I love to exercise, but I know I’m never going to have a perfect body. I love chocolate, sweets and occasionally some junk food way too much for me to ever have those six pack abs I dreamed of when I was 18. Now, I’m approaching my 30s I have totally come to terms with that. But sometimes when I’m on a run or doing a workout video, I look at the women and feel that oh too familiar pang of insecurity pop up. I think to myself If only I could have arms that looked like hers or whatever else I may be feeling bad about on this particular day. You know what ends up happening to me when I compare myself to another woman like this? I feel totally awful.
It’s crucial for us to see the connection between comparing ourselves to others and self-esteem.
The first step to not comparing your body to another person’s is to recognize yourself doing this. It doesn’t necessarily have to be about body shapes; it could be about anything from eyes, hair, lips, or something else. Easier said than done though, right? That’s why we have to remember that no one is perfect. Everyone struggles with some aspect of themselves they wish they could change. But, we have to learn to love that part of ourselves, because it is us. If we start to shame on our body—especially those that we were born with—then we don’t truly feel self-love, which is where real self-confidence comes from.
I am a huge proponent for self-love and loving your body for what it is. The true connection between our bodies really starts from an internal dialogue we are having with ourselves. When you catch yourself comparing yourself to others you have to make sure you kindly tell yourself that you are already perfect the way you are.
Tell yourself something you like about yourself, rather than something you dislike. Focus on the positive, not the negative. Over time, you will see your frame of mind surrounding the issue start to change. It’s all about giving yourself lots of self-love! This task is not easy, and requires a lot of mental strength and compassion to yourself. I’ve struggled with this for years, so if you need help along your journey, please know you can always reach out to me. 🙂
Recognizing our strengths and weaknesses: it isn’t just about comparing our bodies
We don’t only compare our looks to other people, but we also compare other things—social status, accomplishments and abilities—which are equally as detrimental to our self-confidence. The thing is, every one of us has strengths that are unique. On the flip side, we all must admit that we have weaknesses. That is totally ok! Admitting our weaknesses isn’t a bad thing; our weaknesses are aspects of ourselves that we can develop over time. Coming to terms with our strengths and weaknesses allows us to see who we truly are, and from this recognition comes great change.
I cannot answer the question for you about what your strengths and weaknesses are; only you can do this. It is usually not difficult to recognize our strengths. Usually people have been telling us what we are good at our entire life. Just think about the things people have told you that you are blessed with or naturally good at.
But, what about our weaknesses? How do we identify them? Well, for this, you need to do a little bit of introspection. If you are currently working and get performance evaluations, you might be able to use them to figure out what some of your weaknesses are. Otherwise, take some time to sit and think or jot down some notes about what your weaknesses are. Here are some questions you can ask yourself: Are there certain things that make you uncomfortable to do? Are there some things you just feel like you naturally are not good at doing? What is something you are not confident doing? You need to ask yourself these kinds of questions to help you identify your weaknesses.
By evaluating our strengths and our weaknesses, we can build a profile as who we are as people. This is the only way we can find a life that we are suited for. To develop true self-confidence, we must identify our strengths and find ways to use them in our daily lives. When we do this, we feel a strong sense of confidence, because we are working naturally with our natural abilities and talents.
I also want to mention that we must not see our weaknesses as our enemy. They are equally as important to us as our strengths are. I try to develop aspects of myself that I am naturally not talented in. I suggest you do the same. You will be surprised at how much you can develop them by putting in the required effort!
Don’t shame on other people: learn to compliment them
The road to feeling truly self-confident is one that has ups and downs; it is definitely not a straight lined path. Along the way, we meet plenty of other people. We may meet people that are more intelligent than us. Sometimes we meet people who are more attractive than us. We also meet people who are naturally gifted at things that we wish we could that. When we meet these people, we must learn to compliment them. We need to recognize their strengths, and not put them down. We will never experience self-confidence if we cannot learn to also compliment others. The two go hand in hand.
I try to remind myself each day that everyone is suffering in their own way. Each of us has a battle we are facing, and we all are here together to help each other grow and experience a life full of bliss.
The rise of self-confidence
When you learn to stop comparing yourself to others, you will feel the rise of self-confidence within yourself. You are a special person, who has a lot to offer the world. So why should you work so hard against yourself? You were born on this Earth to be you not someone else. So, embrace being your unique self and remember to support others on their journey as well. With this kind of thinking, we can change the world.
I also made a video about this topic. You can see it here:
*The photo for this post was taken from a lovely girl named Jackie aka Chibird. You can find more of here lovely drawings here.*