Let’s face it. We all know that after a couple of years of a relationship it isn’t like the first days were. Over time a list of grievances become piled up against our loved one. Usually things we initially found endearing are at the top of our list. Rest assured–it’s totally normal to have these kinds of feelings every now and then, but it isn’t normal to let them destroy your relationship. So, I want to share a couple of tips I use to keep the love alive as the years pass. As a twentysomething, I think that these tips are helpful for people who are in millennial relationships. Here they are:
1. Relive the first days you met your significant other: This can be as simple as just having a chat about when you first met each other. Reliving that moment should definitely bring a huge smile to both of your faces. Try to remember what it was like when you first developed feelings for your loved one. You could even be super creative and recreate your first date. When you do these things, it allows you to remember all those magical and positive feelings you had with your loved one at the very beginning. Doing this also helps you to remember why you fell in love all those years ago.
2. Talk about your issues as soon as they arise: I can’t stress this enough, but to keep your relationship going, you need to let out your emotions. We are fearful of hurting our loved one, so we fear being honest with them. You can’t let them build up inside, because that’s usually when significant issues occur. In order to maintain a healthy foundation in your relationship, you need to have communication and honesty with each other. If you let those things fall away, eventually the trust goes out the window as well, and many major issues will arise. Obviously, you don’t need to address small and trivial issues. But, if you can’t let an issue go after a few hours of thinking then you really should say something to your significant other.
3. Spend time apart: At first, you can’t get enough of each other. But, after some time (especially if you have mutual friends), you start to feel trapped and restricted. You really can’t spend all the time with your loved one–you still need to maintain your independence. If you’re introverted like me, you know that you get so drained from a long day at work. I’m an English teacher now, so a lot of my works requires me to jump out of my shell and mentally it can be extremely draining for me. I’ve realized that if I don’t spend some time doing my own thing before my boyfriend gets home, I get really snappy with him. But, when I just spend a little time for myself, I realize that I totally don’t get like that. When you give yourself a break to reboot, you have more energy to devote to the one you love most.
4. Cultivate new common interests together: You definitely need to balance your alone time with spending quality time with your significant other. A great idea to keep your love going strong is to develop a common interest or hobby together. It should be something you are both new at. Perhaps a partner dance class or a specialty cooking class? Whatever is in both of your interests is a great place to start exploring. It’s always amazing to start a new hobby, and it’s even better when you get to share all those new feelings with your loved one. Over time this interest becomes a really rewarding part of our relationship because you are both working towards a new and common goal together.
5. Take mutual time off together and get away from your home life: It’s absolutely essential to take time away from your daily life and spend it somewhere new together. Being in a new space and environment away from all your daily chores and things can help you rekindle and develop your relationship to a new level. We all need a break from our daily routines. I really would suggest to even keep your phone off for a while (no checking emails or Facebook especially) and really just focus on your partner while de-stressing. The memories you create on your trip away become ones you can share and relive with each other for years to come.